Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
