put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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