We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I need a hoe opinion
go on
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
