remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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