Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
