I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
