hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I'm at about main and main street
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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