Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
How's work?
Spinning.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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