She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
