at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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