Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
it's not cheating when I paid for it
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize