I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
