i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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