is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
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There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
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I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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