I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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