East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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