he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
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