you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
