great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
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