my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
