There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
