he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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