she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
