did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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