DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
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