What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
