So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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