Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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