dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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