My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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