So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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