Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
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You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
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I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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