we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
