just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
