It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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