I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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