just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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