Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
