id be glad to
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
