glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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