I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
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Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
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When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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