are you so shy because you have an std?
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
