I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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