just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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