Kareoke will never be a sober sport
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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