what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
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