So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
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