we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
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You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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