I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
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