Don't you send me to vm
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
