Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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