i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
my sisters under your porch take her home
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
