i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
