It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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