morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Randomize
