he puts the penis in happiness.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
