You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
