Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
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