Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
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